Ms. Buttersworth: Please clarify the race of your syrup!

So, I've been a bit delinquent in posting. This was largely due to the copious amounts of waffle eating and cross country moving I was doing. As a result of the waffle eating, however, I became very well acquainted with my good syrupy friend, Ms. Butterswoth, prompting the following:

Soon after, much to my excitement, I received the following:

Planet Fitness: Please Improve your Facilities!

Recently, whilst walking past a gym near my abode, I noticed the following sign:

This struck me as being a terrible deal. The gym, Planet Fitness, is also known for its unique exercise theories such as providing free pizza and bagels, and fostering a "judgement free zone", which my roommate aptly noted is actually spelled wrong (or at least unconventionally). Thusly, I composed the following:

Geico - Please send me a gecko!

Like many of you, I hate Geico. For no other reason than the fact that their commercials are omnipresent and soul-crushing. With this in mind, I decided to write them: 

Several days later, I received a box containing the following: