Videojug - Please let me become a writer for your site!

A few weeks ago I received the following email

This is very exciting. I am finally getting the notoriety I deserve. Maybe now I can be a Successful Blogger, although it is a little unclear what my "expertise" is.... Amphibious Vehicles perhaps? 

Michelin Tires - Please let me meet the Michelin Man/Don't arrest me

The much-anticipated letter(s) to Michelin:

A week or so after receiving this letter, I received a knock on my door, which I opened to reveal two burly looking gentlemen. A rough transcript of the conversation follows:

Goodyear - Please let me ride in your illustrious blimp!

Persistence sometimes pays off, in theory:

The following was then posted into an online "blimp inquiry form" (!) on their website:

They finally wrote back with a series of curious emails: Read On to see the screen shots (cut and paste gets tiresome)

Toyota - Please let me purchase a Solid Gold car

Plus, maybe I could resell it to Cash4Gold; do they make envelopes that big?

Perhaps they couldn't reach me by phone because I didn't give them my number. Hardly an excuse...

Dodge - Please help me locate my Magnum

Also, if I had my illusory Magnum, I could have shot that raccoon...

X-Ray headlights certainly are a complicated variable; no wonder they were overwhelmed.

As an aside, this letter was inspired by in incident in which an acquaintance of mine hit a raccoon with her BMW, and the raccoon won. I blame the German work ethic and their inferior welds.

Ford - Please understand the dangers of your Fusion car's reactor

They sent me this envelope:

...containing the following message:

This is imminently troubling; perhaps my fears are well-founded?

I was sadly not graced with a reply from these vagabonds.

Mitsubishi - Please help me fix my erratic car!

Mitsubishi's response:

My reply:

Their 2nd (second) respone:

Hyundai - Please help me activate amphibious mode

Their (first) reply:

My Response:

Their Second (2nd) reply:

That would explain the leaking.

Nissan - Please let me buy a 2014 Sentra

Their reply: