President Obama - Please attend my wedding in Space!

Last year, I wrote the following letter to our illustrious leader: 

Several months later (right around the time of my alleged wedding, in fact), I received the following envelope:

...containing the following charming note: 

What a lovely message! Too bad the President couldn't come to my space wedding, but it's nice to see he cared enough to write me back. And thank you, tax payers, for the $1 worth of effort it probably took to send this out.

Harmony Wynelands - Please cater my divorce!

I got tired of marriage letters, so I decided to try a new tactic:

Scheduling a divorce clown is hard. Someone should also probably mention that they spelled "Wineland" wrong, and also that even "wineland" isn't a real word. Nevertheless, they graciously replied:

All types of parties? Makes the mind wander....... Sadly, I never managed to make it out to Lodi. Maybe if Amiee Alan Catering had been willing to cater my Kazakh wedding, we wouldn't have gotten off on the wrong foot.  

Engaged couple - Please be in my upcoming show on Extreme Weddings!

After getting tired of writing people myself, I submitted the following "request for stories" for my upcoming periodical, Extreme Wedding Magazine:

I received the following reply; she played along nicely, so I have kindly omitted (most) of her name:

Metlife - Please let me feature your Blimp in my wedding

A lot of themes coming together in this one...

Hopefully they will be more accommodating than the Goodyear brigands...

Skiing Magazine - Please come to my ski wedding (and give me free skis!!)

This was the email that started it: 


from Fred Decatt
to Editor@skiingmag
date Wed, Jul 1, 2009 at 9:49 AM
subject Letter to the editor


Dear Sir or Madam,


I recently composed this letter about my upcoming ski nuptial to send to your fine publication, but realized I have no stamps, envelopes, or saliva. I have attached a copy here, and will send a hard copy by mail at my soonest convenience.
Hope to hear from you soon!

Best,
Fred Decatt
freddecatt@gmail.com

Thank you, and A Preview of things to come...

Dear Readers,

I would like to take a moment to thank you for allowing me to prevent you from accomplishing your tasks! Your patronage is greatly admired and awed.

As I am away on holiday, I will not be posting many updates for the remainder of 2009. Fear not, though, for there are many exciting developments to be revealed in 2010, including:

Blue Heron - Please cater my "extreme" Underwater wedding

Their insightful reply!:

Extreme reality TV!!!!

Amiee Alan - Please cater my Volcano wedding

Their reply:

My reply:

Their next reply:

My final reply:

Sadly, they did not want to come to Kazakhstan

Lufthansa - Please cater my aerial wedding

Their reply: