American Airlines - Please let me shave during takeoff

Several months ago, I read the following article. I was particularly surprised to discover that I am legally permitted to use an electric razor during takeoff and landing while on an airplane, but not use a Kindle. This needed to be addressed. Hence, the following:

Several months later, I received the following reply:

I guess they should re-read circular 91.21-1B before making such cavalier statements about what is and isn't allowed during takeoff. I should demand a full refund for discriminating against my beard. 

President Obama - Please attend my wedding in Space!

Last year, I wrote the following letter to our illustrious leader: 

Several months later (right around the time of my alleged wedding, in fact), I received the following envelope:

...containing the following charming note: 

What a lovely message! Too bad the President couldn't come to my space wedding, but it's nice to see he cared enough to write me back. And thank you, tax payers, for the $1 worth of effort it probably took to send this out.

Delta Airlines - Please let me purchase one of your uncomfortable seats!

I recently flew on Delta Airlines, and was impressed with their extreme discomfort. I decided to write the airline and praise them on their accomplishment:

25 days later (not to be concerned with the zombie movie of proximate name) I received the following: 

JetBlue - Please enjoy my compliments on a job well done!

Their reply:

Lufthansa - Please cater my aerial wedding

Their reply: