Furry Toys Tours - Please take my stuffed cat(s) on vacation!

Recently, while conducting a routine search for stuffed-animal tour companies, I cam across the following: http://www.furrytoystours.com/

I was thrilled at the prospect of finally getting to spend money to send my stuffed animals on vacation, so I sent them the following email:

Surprisingly (or maybe not?), they replied:

What Great News! This would be a fantastic opportunity to promote the Performing Troop:

For more information on why I don't trust FedEx, see here.

After a few more days of delay, I received the following: 

Those damn French. They're probably just still jealous that our Revolution involved substantially less guillotining.

Xtreme Taxidermy - Please embalm my dead cats!

Recently, while searching for an extreme taxidermist, I came across the following website: http://www.xtremetaxidermy.com/

I was awed and inspired by their fantastic website. In particular, I was drawn to their "pet preservation service", described as follows: "We will now be offering a very special service known as pet preservation. We realize that pets are a very important part of our lives, and when it is time that we must say goodbye to them, we can offer a loving and lasting alternative to burial or cremation. A new process known as freeze dry preservation affords pet owners a way to preserve their pet in a visible and restful manner."

What better way to say goodbye than to freeze a loved one into a permanent position and creepily display them in an obscure corner of your home? If it's good enough for Jabba, it's good enough for me, so I decided to inquire about their services:

Sadly, my reputation caught up with me:

I received no further response. In all likelihood, they are probably busy on-site filming their impending reality TV show. Still, I am grateful for their playful response. If any of you have extreme taxidermy needs, I highly recommend the fine folks at Xtreme Taxidermy.