Craigslist Users - Please purchase my snake, Hissers

More Craigslist tomfoolery:

I received more responses than I would care to document. However, some highlights below:

Fed Ex - Please ship my box full of venomous snakes!

A prolegomenous Note: While I did have a complaint with Fed Ex which prompted me to write this letter, it did not quite adhere to the details as described below; although it may seem unlikely, I do have some scruples, and retain complaint letters for those parties deserving of them.  

They craft the graceful reply below; perhaps I can schedule a pick-up of my box?