Sunday, February 14, 2010

Fed Ex - Please ship my box full of venomous snakes!

A prolegomenous Note: While I did have a complaint with Fed Ex which prompted me to write this letter, it did not quite adhere to the details as described below; although it may seem unlikely, I do have some scruples, and retain complaint letters for those parties deserving of them.  

They craft the graceful reply below; perhaps I can schedule a pick-up of my box?

I wonder what constitutes a "beneficial insect?" Carpenter ants? Worker Bees? Beetles that eat dust and ward off evil spirits? They probably have a "no beetle" policy as well. 


  1. That's quite the poetic closing, Fred. "With Sound and Fury." I'll have to try that on my next job application.

  2. Yes, I try to vary my valedictions to keep my recipients poised and primed. They rarely seem to notice.

  3. Perhaps because you're not writing the same companies...