Citibank - Please fulfill my wish to become a badger/bird whisperer!

As some of you may know, Citibank has a reward points system for their credit cards, which they claim can be used to help you fulfill any wish you may have. So I submitted the following request:

They replied with the following:



This was disappointing. Luckily, a friend has just referred me to an intriguing article; in particular, the following paragraph:

Whether that will happen depends on the Springfield City Council, which has a checkered history when it comes to handling Mother Nature. After all, an attempt to control starlings and pigeons in downtown by giving a no-bid, six-figure contract to a purported bird whisperer who claimed a secret method to make birds go away did not end well. The alleged whisperer quit four years ago after it turned out that he had a history of using poison, and council members grew concerned by reports that he had been using a rifle downtown.
So I proposed the following:

This is promising. Luckily, I found the illustrious Ken Globus:

Sadly, I received no further reply. The bird whisperer shortage remains unfilled.