Skiing Magazine - Please come to my ski wedding (and give me free skis!!)

This was the email that started it: 


from Fred Decatt
to Editor@skiingmag
date Wed, Jul 1, 2009 at 9:49 AM
subject Letter to the editor


Dear Sir or Madam,


I recently composed this letter about my upcoming ski nuptial to send to your fine publication, but realized I have no stamps, envelopes, or saliva. I have attached a copy here, and will send a hard copy by mail at my soonest convenience.
Hope to hear from you soon!

Best,
Fred Decatt
freddecatt@gmail.com

__________________________________________

Fred Decatt

XXXXXXXXX

July 1, 2009

SKIING Magazine
Editorial and Online Offices
5720 Flatiron Parkway
Boulder, CO 80301

Dear Editor,

I love your magazine! The images are beautiful. The writing is crisp. The text is a reasonable font! It fills me with such joy to read about new extreme slopes to shred, dangerous, avalanche-prone cliffs to launch off, and the shining specimens of ski culture that grace your editorial columns.

Since I have such a fond, supple affinity for your magnanimous publication, I want to give you the opportunity to participate in one of the most important events of my lifetime: my second wedding! I have met the (second) love of my life, and we are planning on tying the knot this winter. We are going to be married while (what else!?) skiing. A helicopter will deliver us to the top of a slope somewhere in the Chugach (location TBA) Our close friend/Reverend/heli-guide will jump out and begin carving down the mountain on his G3 Reverends. Calveen and I will then leap out of the gyrating aircraft, taking care not to get our full wedding attire caught in the door as we depart (I even convinced my young bride to don a full-blaze orange wedding dress, to provide better visibility and contrast for our guests/rescuers). As we continue down the mountain, The Reverend will take our vows and legally marry us while straightlining switch. The symbolism will be apparent as we hurdle down this terrible precipice for which we are only marginally prepared.

We realize this is an ambitious wedding plan, but still want to be able to share it with all our friends and family. Since it is not feasible to have everyone ski down the mountain with us, we were hoping to have a live satellite uplink that would enable everyone to view our ceremony in real time (with a slight delay to cut the feed in case of injury/manglement). We have a talented videographer who will be capturing our nuptial with artistic grace from the ‘copter, and we were hoping you would be interested in hosting this video on your website as a venue for people to tune in! I am sure it would be a popular feature for your stupendous site!

Furthermore, as our favorite magazine, we want to give Skiing Magazine exclusive rights to cover this unique event. We have already been in touch with the producers of an upcoming reality show about extreme weddings, where people get married in exotic manners/locations, such as underwater or on the rim of a volcano, but decided we would rather share our special day with the skiing community that has nurtured, bathed, and supported us. We could give you exclusive interviews with the bride (Calveen!), groom (myself!), bridesmaids (including two Swedish ski bunnies with whom Calveen used to live), along with prime locations to enable you to snap some righteous photos. Your crew could even attend the reception after (bluegrass and kegs of PBR). If you get enough good material, maybe you could write a feature story.

The precise date and location have not been set yet, but if you are interested in participating, we would be happy to coordinate with you to find a prime venue in the Chugach. Money is no object; we just want to be able to share this event with everyone close to us. Maybe you could poll the Skiing Magazine community to see if anyone has suggestions? When we set a date and time, we hope any and all fans (especially Facebook!) of Skiing Magazine will attend!

Sincerely,

Fred Decatt

p.s. My phone is out of service due to a leak in my Tiburon, so please reply by post or email (freddecatt@gmail.com) if you are interested!

*A brief note of exposition:* Skiing Magazine has a contest whereby they give a pair of custom PBR skis to the person who writes them the best letter each month. I was not aware of this provision at the time of my writing. In keeping with my traditions, I did also send them a hard copy of the preceding letter.

___________________________________________
from Editor@skiingmag
to Fred Decatt
date Wed, Jul 1, 2009 at 12:47 PM
subject Re: Letter to the editor

Hi Fred,

Wow, we’re flattered. Thanks for the invite! Sounds like quite a wedding. Congratulations.
We probably won’t be able to attend, but you stand a good chance of winning some skis with a letter like that. Stay tuned.

Megan
Skiing Magazine
Boulder, CO
___________________________________________
from Fred Decatt
to Editor@skiingmag
date Wed, Jul 1, 2009 at 1:41 PM
subject Re: Letter to the editor

Dear Megan,

Thank you for your prompt reply and wholehearted felicitations! It is a shame you will not be able to attend. I will continue to keep you appraised of the situation as details become more solid. Once we have a firm date and location, maybe you can share with your readership, and all who wish and are able to attend can collectively provide you with some nice photos and anecdotes of the big day.

I had not even considered the free skis, but in retrospect they would be perfect for the wedding! Calveen is desperately in need of a new pair, and I am sure she would be honored to ski on such an honored prize from your esteemed periodical at our wedding.

Please, feel free to contact me if you want any more information about the event!

Sincerely yours,
Fred Decatt


___________________________________________
from Fred Decatt
to Editor@skiingmag
date Sat, Jul 25, 2009 at 3:37 PM
subject Re: Letter to the editor

Hi Megan,


I just wanted to share some more details of the wedding with you. We recently settled on a final date for our skiing marriage tour de force - February 28th! This day is the anniversary of our two cats' sixth litter, and coincidentilly the last day we will be covered under our current health insurance plan. The location is still in flux, but we have a wonderful catering company that is going to assist us with a snow themed cake, and man the 23 kegs of PBR. Our contacts at Best Buy* are going to set us up with a live video feed (our cameraman may have to be carrying a laptop while skiing; a minor technicality). A close family friend and executive at the Body Shop will be distributing specially tailored Coco Butter lotion products as a souvenir for those in attendance. It promises to be an amazing, audacious, acrobatic, anthropomorphic event! Should you reconsider sending a correspondant or two, feel free to let me know; I'm sure we could find some accomodations for staff of our favorite magazine!

Thank you again for your many years of excellent journalism. Collectively, Calveen and I think we have read every issue, except March, 1996, February 1994, December 1989 and December 1977. We are excited to one day be enjoying the January 2067 issue together in a cozy cabin, reading about shredding the slopes of Mars.

Sincerely yours,
Fred Decatt


*stay tuned for the forthcoming letter to Best Buy

___________________________________________
from Editor@skiingmag
to Fred Decatt
date Wed, Aug 5, 2009 at 10:02 AM
subject Re: Letter to the editor

Hi Fred,

Thanks for the update. We’ll mark it on our calendars just in case one of us is in the neighborhood. Sounds like quite an event. Does your wife-to-be know you’re inviting a staff of complete strangers? :)

Keep us posted,


Megan
Skiing Magazine
Boulder, CO



And then (finally) in September:
___________________________________________
from Lifite@skiingmag
to Fred Decatt
date Wed, Aug 5, 2009 at 10:02 AM
subject Re: Letter to the editor

Dear Mr. Decatt,

Once again, I’d like to extend my congratulations to you on your upcoming nuptials. In addition to that, I’d also like to inform you that we loved your letters and you will soon be the owner of custom Skiing Mag PBR K2 skis. If you could send me your address we’ll get them in the mail as soon as we can. Enjoy!

All the Best,

Jake
Skiing Magazine


And then they published my letter! - albeit heavily edited:

And then they sent me skis! - albeit without bindings:

(note the really cool PBR hologram)

And thus I am officially a published author. With a new pair of powder skis. With no bindings. 

Also, if anyone talented with photoshop is interested in concocting some "photos" from the wedding, please let me know!

*Special thanks to HP for ski terminology consulting*