Michelin Tires - Please let me meet the Michelin Man/Don't arrest me

The much-anticipated letter(s) to Michelin:

A week or so after receiving this letter, I received a knock on my door, which I opened to reveal two burly looking gentlemen. A rough transcript of the conversation follows:

Man in Beret: "Hello, we're detectives with the Cambridge Police Department, do you know a Mr. Fred  Decatt?"

Me: "No, he's not a real person."

(Man in Beret turns to Man in Leather Coat; looks confused)

Me: "I mean, yes, I'm him, I guess."

Man in Beret: "Did you threaten to kill the Michelin Man?" 

Me: "Excuse me?"

Man in Leather Coat: "We received a complaint from Michelin Tires that a Mr. Fred Decatt made death threats against their corporate mascot, and they are taking them very seriously."

Me: "The Michelin Man isn't a real person..."

Man in Beret: "Yes, but they fear collateral damage, you know,  given everything that has been happening recently... Do you have any history of mental problems? Are you on any medications?" 

Me: (regretting saying Fred Decatt isn't a real person) "No... and I don't think I made any threats... I just wanted to meet him. Maybe I should show you the letter I sent?"

Man in Leather Coat: (after reading letter) "Oh... I see... Well... um... don't do this sort of thing anymore. You won't be hearing from us again."

This was quite the shock to me. I never thought letter-writing could cause such egregious angst! So, as any sane person would do, I wrote them again:

They never wrote back. Gates gets a beer summit and I don't? What a travesty of Justice. 

The worst part is, I actually was afraid of the Michelin Man as a kid! He has a countenance reminiscent of the nefarious the Stay-Puffed Marshmallow Man:

I encourage you all to think twice before purchasing tires from a company with such a monstrous mascot, and apparently zero sense of humor.